Clinging to Lala

I clung to her.

The attraction was not unhealthy.  But too much of anything is bad.

After 23 years of loneliness I clung to Lala way too hard.   She was the only warm spot had seen.  Sure there were other nice women.  But none that felt right.  Lala is just right.

The problem is It dulled the pain.   Pain is good.  It keeps you from keeping you hand in the fire.  It keeps you from moving a broken leg.  But when you confuse the comfort for a lack of pain you just bury the pain.  And that is dangerous.

Then it became a narcotic.  I had to have it.  I created it.  I would spend trivial time that should have been placed on things important just hanging out with her.    Yes hang out time is good.    But I did too much.

OF course the foundation was out of whack.  So it falls now.